Didn't I Tell You?

Jesus responded, "Didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believed?"     John 11: 40

     I was 5 when my little sister was born.  And I was 6 when she died.  Kandi Ann Perky was born on May 20, 1966 with cancer and died nine long, excruciating months later.  I was so young I don’t remember – or didn’t understand – a great deal of what was going on, but what I do remember is vivid.  I remember climbing the tree at my dad’s Aunt Lorena’s farm where my little brother and I stayed while our parents took Kandi to Oklahoma City for tests, surgeries, and treatments.  From there we could see for miles across the flat, Oklahoma Panhandle countryside.  We would stand vigil in that tree watching and waiting for our parents to come home.  I will never forget the day they came home without my baby sister.  I will also never forget sitting at her funeral staring at the funny little bed at the front of the church and wondering why Kandi was sleeping way up there.  I kept watching and waiting for her to wake up and start crying so mom could go up and get her and everything would be alright again.  But she didn’t wake up. . . and she didn’t cry . . . and we didn’t take her home.  I was an adult before I really understood, and therefore was able to deal with, everything that happened during Kandi’s short life and subsequent death.

     I was 42 when the same beloved brother who kept vigil with me in the tree all those years ago contracted a horrendous disease from a kidney/pancreas transplant and spent the next 11 months fighting a brutal battle that took his life at 38 years of age.  I was much older and much better equipped to understand what was going on in a lot of ways – but in a lot of ways I still felt like that 5 year old, waiting for the nightmare to end and life to return to “normal”.  I sat at Kevin’s funeral and had flashbacks of sitting at Kandi’s 35 years earlier.  I knew it was not feasible, but, oh how wonderful if he could just sit up, whole and well again, and walk out of the church and go home to raise his young family as he had so desperately wanted to do!

     Suffice it to say I truly can relate to Mary and Martha.  I think we all can.  Don’t think I haven’t spent my fair share of prayers railing on God, asking Him why He couldn’t heal my siblings – why my parents have had to go through the pain of losing not one but two of their children when no parent should have to experience that at all.  This is the stage Mary and Martha were experiencing when Jesus arrived after their brother Lazarus had died and they had buried him.

“Where have you been, Jesus?”  they said.  “If you had been here, Lazarus wouldn’t have died!  Why weren’t you here when we needed you?  Don’t you care?”  Now I’ve taken a little literary license here, of course, but isn’t that how our conversations go at times like these?  But if you’ve read the verses before these, you know that Jesus very much knew what was going on and deliberately waited until THAT time to arrive.  Why?  Because He had a plan.  He tried to tell Martha about it, but she was too caught up in her own grief and pain to understand what He was telling her.  He promised her that her brother would rise again.  She misunderstood and went about her grieving.  I’m afraid my first reaction to this is a little judgmental, but I have to keep in mind I have the benefit of knowing the rest of the story.  After all, if someone had sat down beside me at Kevin’s funeral and said, “Watch!  Your brother is going to get up out of that coffin in just a minute and be whole again!” I would have thought they were crazy!  As much as I believe in God’s power and as much as I wanted it to be true, I would never have expected that it really was going to happen.  I can also very much understand Jesus’ frustration that her human little mind could not wrap itself around the concept of what He really was trying to tell her.  When she questioned His actions (and don’t we all do that today?), His response was, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?”  And see God’s glory they did!  Lazarus was raised from the dead and was perfectly whole again.

Let’s back up a bit and look at something.  How would this story have changed had Martha really been in tune with what Jesus was telling her to begin with?  What if she had truly grasped on to His promise the first time He told her?  How would that have changed things?  Well, Jesus still would have raised Lazarus from the dead.  That would not have changed.  The changes, I believe, would all have been for Mary and Martha.  If they had listened and understood Jesus’ original promise, it would have saved them a lot of grief and sadness.  Instead they would have experienced great joy and anticipation of what Jesus was about to do.  This would have required a GREAT deal of faith, but hadn’t Jesus proven He was able?  And if they were living in anticipation of what Jesus what was about to do wouldn’t they have run and told everyone they knew to come and watch?  Oh, what a missed opportunity! 

Now, let’s apply that to us today.  God has given us great and wonderful promises.  How often do we forget those and turn to fear and worry or grief and sadness?  Way too often!  At least I do!  It is part of our old nature.  But how different would our lives be if we kept His promises ever-present in our minds?  Our fear and grief would be replaced with anticipation and peace.  No, like Mary and Martha, we aren’t going to necessarily understand what God has in mind.  Just as I don't understand why my siblings had to suffer so and die so young, but we do know we serve a mighty, powerful, all-knowing God who loves us and has a plan for our lives – plans for good and not for disaster to give us hope for the future.  ^{Jeremiah 29:11} 

Hope for the future . . . did you catch that promise?   Every day there seems to be at least one new thing in the news that makes the future look darker and darker.  Every day new laws, social unrest, and criminal activity around us close in with fear and worry and defeat.  These are not from God, however.  He has promised us a future with a hope!  He knows what is going on – just like He did when Lazarus died.  He knows the struggles we experience, and it saddens Him just as Lazarus’ death did.    He understands our grief and our pain, but He does not want us to get stuck there!  He promises us a glorious outcome, and He has called us to look forward to it with great anticipation – to HIS plan in HIS timing and HIS will.  Does this take a GREAT deal of faith?  You bet it does!  But hasn’t He proven He’s able?  And what an awesome opportunity to point out the glory of God to those around us!

      

Lord, you know that life just gets to be overwhelming sometimes.  Sometimes it is hard to understand all the evil and deception  and selfishness and hatred that seems to monopolize every corner of our lives.  But, Lord, I claim your promises today that You have a plan for our hope,  I claim your promise today that You hold us in Your hand.  I claim your promise today that we are YOURS and nothing can touch us.  I praise You that, though we walk through valleys, You go with us.  May our eyes always stay on You with anticipation for the future.  Please ease our pain and fear and replace them with joy and peace that can only come from knowing that You are in control!  May the world see Your glory and know that You ARE the one and only true God!!

                                                Amen