No Do-Overs in Real Life

     I feel safe in saying there isn’t one of us who hasn’t made rash decisions driven by emotions that we wish we could go back and change. Oh, it feels so right at the time – almost good – but as the course of our brash actions plays out, we wish we could erase those words or change that decision or undo that action. Unfortunately, we don’t get do-overs in real life. We have to live with the consequences of our decisions. This is where Judas found himself. With our perfect 20-20 hindsight it would be so easy to sit in judgment over him, but to do so would be to slip back into that hypocritical game the Pharisees played. I’ve made a new commitment not to wear that mask anymore so instead I asked Jesus to help me see Judas through His eyes and learn what I could from Judas’ life.
     First thing that strikes me about Judas is that Jesus CHOSE him to be one of His disciples. He wasn’t taken by surprise when Judas betrayed Him. He is an all-knowing God who Himself pointed out this was a fulfillment of the Scriptures. He knew what Judas was going to do when he chose Him. He knew every minute of every day; every step of their journey – yet He never rejected him but continued to love him unconditionally.
     Second thing I notice about Judas is that he was a numbers guy. He kept track of their money. I can imagine (and this is just my speculation, mind you) the disciples coming to him before the feeding of the 5,000 and telling him Jesus wanted them to feed all those people. Can’t you just hear the numbers guy? “Feed them?! We don’t have the money to feed all these people!” If I look at Judas through my own eyes, it would be so easy to shake my head and judge him. But I can’t. I’ve been guilty of being too focused on money, etc. and not on Jesus. I do wonder what went through Judas’ mind, however, when he watched the miracle unfold before his very eyes. Why didn’t this get Judas’ attention? How could he have watched miracle after miracle and still ended up being so disillusioned he was willing to betray this man who loved him so? But even as I ask the question I realize I have no right. I have not had the privilege of walking with Jesus in the flesh every day yet I see the miracles and wonders of His creation around me. God’s hand truly is at work at all times, but I am too often focused on me and my own little world to notice. Nope, I’m not throwing that stone.
     My third revelation is tied to this fact that Judas lived right beside Jesus 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for years, while not appearing to have been moved by Jesus’ miracles. Looking through Jesus’ eyes we see a man who lived during a time when the Jews thought they were the one and only chosen people who were loved and chosen by God simply because of their nationality. For this reason they just knew that Jesus was coming to Messiah to come and rescue them. Unfortunately, they were expecting a warrior King to come in and annihilate their enemies. Instead of swords and spears, however, Jesus came armed with love and grace for everyone, not just the Jews. Judas, as did many of his fellow Jews, had a difficult time handling this. He then made one of the most notoriously brash decisions in history and decided to sell Jesus to His enemies. It was his idea. When Jesus told the disciples that one of them would betray Him that, Judas had the audacity to act innocent. Personally, if Jesus sat there and told me he knew what I was about to do, I think that would have gotten my attention. Wait a minute, He DOES.
     And the last thing that strikes me about Judas is his deep remorse. When he saw the consequences of his actions, he regretted what he had done, but it was too late to go back and change anything. He tried, and I find that honorable, but it was too late. There are no do-overs in real life. He couldn’t live with what he had done. I know that Jesus would not have wanted Judas to hang himself. He would have forgiven Judas without hesitation. As I sit here looking at Judas through Jesus’ eyes, I find myself feeling sorry for him. I don’t think he was predestined to betray Jesus. He had a choice. He just made a very bad one. When I peel back my own prejudices, I realize I have more in common with him than I thought. No, I am definitely NOT a numbers person, but God has CHOSEN me. He LOVES me. I struggle with keeping my perspective and PRIORITIES in line with God’s plan. My FOCUS is too often on me and my own little world. I have made many RASH DECISIONS that I wish I could take back. There may be no do-overs in real life, but Jesus FORGIVES me no matter what I have done.
     Jesus would have been crucified whether Judas betrayed him or not. That part of the story would not have changed. The part that would have changed had Judas chosen not to betray Jesus was Judas’ life. I can’t help but wonder what awesome things he could have accomplished had he accepted Jesus. It is easy to sit back and rationalize that I haven’t done anything as bad as selling Jesus to the enemy yet I know that God doesn’t rank sin. He doesn’t see what Judas did as any better or worse than anything I have done.
    
Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross for my sin. Thank you for your love, your patience, your grace, and your mercy. Thank you for helping me look at Judas through your eyes instead of sitting back and judging his actions. Thank you for the valuable lessons I have learned from this hurting man. Help me keep my focus, my eyes, my perspective on you. Help me stop and talk to you so that I may make wise decisions because there are no do-overs in real life. May I be ever conscience that the consequences of my actions touch so many people and affect my relationship with You.